Parashu fell in deep thought. After pondering a lot, he said, "Alright, you leave the worry of the shop to me. I shall make some arrangement. Then you also obtain the status of scheduled caste like Ramhit and join some job. I would never like you are forced to do something against your wishes. Do what you please".

Making his dilemma still deeper Samdev said, " I am not in favour of changing my caste either. I want to remain Pandey. My heart will not accept that I become a Dusadh from being a Pandey, I mean from a higher caste to a lower caste just for the sake of an employment."

Parashu as if fell from the sky. Looking at his face he remained stunned. Has the complex of higher caste superiority entered his genes? He had never displayed or expressed that feeling nor tried to plant such thinking in the children. Then how did this seed of arrogance of the so-called higher caste and low opinion toward the so-called lower caste sprout in him? Once again the same trap loomed over him to liberate from which he had often struggled. He failed to understand how this boy could have a low opinion for the caste to which his mother belonged, whose blood flew in his veins, whose milk had given him life!

Parashu asked, " But your brother did so and he did not become any smaller or lower by that. Nobody pointed finger at him, nor anybody ridiculed him".

"What if he is my brother, it is not necessary that outlook and liking of both should be similar. Are all the fruits of a tree similar? He liked that and he did. But I want to remain a Brahman and I shall do what a Brahman should do."

"That means you will not sit at the shop nor will do any job. Then what do you want to do, what does a Brhamin do?"

" Dad, I want to do the job you do. I want to become a priest. I wanted to worship God".

Parashu as though fell on his face. His son wants to make that God his goal, which he always negated and performed the ceremonies simply out of compulsion. How is this peculiar contrast of God, devotion and caste is developing in this new generation in this new of high tech age of cell-phone, television, internet and computer?

Parashu tried to reason out, " If you dislike the mutton shop, I can understand. Sure you don't go to the shop. I want to tell you that the goats and hen are in fact raised for butchering only. It is a naivete to show pity and compassion towards them. They are only products just like wheat, honey, milk, clothes or steel. Today professions are not determined by one's caste. You are educated, you must be seeing that many hair-cutting saloons are being run by Rajputs, many shoe shops are being run by Bhumihars, many Kayasths are having tailoring shops. Many Brahmans are running grocery shops or hotels. If in this situation somebody runs a mutton shop, how come his caste will become any lower? Even otherwise no caste is greater or inferior."

" Dad, then you do one thing. You take charge of the mutton shop and let me take the responsibility of the temple. Perhaps you will not have any ill feeling to do so for my pleasure. I know that you don't have any special pride in being a Brahmin. After all, you don't have any faith in God, and butchering and cries of goats do not disturb you."

Parashuram remained stunned for a few minutes at this proposal. Then again regaining his composure, he said, "Son, priesthood in a temple is not a dependable means of livelihood. This is not Tirupathi's Balaji temple or Puri's Jagannath temple, where millions of Rupees and gold are offered. This is a temple of the poor and dalits. Finding no alternative I took shelter in this temple, where I lived and somehow sustained".

"Dad, I want to develop this temple into a big one. I want to make it a miracle-creating celebrated temple, such that its fame will spread far and wide and people will come here from far and near. I want to convert this into an economic center dwarfing any shop of any employment in comparison".

Parashuram Pandey was flabbergasted. The idea of such a commercial use of the temple never entered his mind. He could never agree with this opinion. Yet he knew that it was beyond his capacity to convince this boy.

Initially Jagani heard all this conversation from a neutral position but then she made up her mind and she too supported son's idea, "When he has made up his mind to remain in the temple, let him do so; why do you forbid him? One should discourage anybody from doing what is wrong or bad. Devotion and worship are paths of virtue."

Parashuram saw that this was the first opportunity when Jagani dissented to the import of his words. He was seeing everything vile and sinister in his son's intentions. But once Jagani spoke out her mind he had nothing to say any further.

Parashuram had never even imagined that one-day he would be displaced from this temple and that too by his own son.

From the next very day he started sitting at the shop. Three butchers worked in the shop. Their job was to cut the goats by turns, remove the skin, cut them to pieces and weigh and give to the customers. Parshuram's job was confined to sit at the counter, watch all the goings on in the shop and take money from the customers. Gradually he started feeling that it was not easy to remain totally detached amidst the butchering of the goats, their heart-rending cries, their blood flowing, and they being cut into pieces. He felt that day-by-day his heart was becoming heavier. When such is his condition by just seeing all this, what might be happening to those who are performing all this !

Though he had said for the sake of saying that the goats and hens were just like any other products, when he himself started looking all these killings he started to feel like one trapped in a boat in a whirlpool. He started often remembering the temple and his life in it. Despite not having any faith in God, the acts of daily washing the Shivling, floral offerings, chanting hymns, arti, prasad distribution etc had become a habit, so natural to him like taking breath. His routine as though got tied in the Bandishes of any raga, and he had developed an affinity with every particle of this place. All that never caused any stress on his heart and mind.

Now burden started getting loaded on his heart and mind as if it started making his Raga out of tune. Is the feeling of being a Brahmin buried in the deeper levels of his heart surfacing?

However, Parashuram tried to become resolute in his mind and decided that he would not allow himself to waver and continue to sit on the shop. When Tularam sat throughout his life and thousands of others are engaged in this job, why not he?

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